'100 Proof' will make better drinkers of us all

Riley McDermid
DM Investigative Editor

Given the Rebels' national reputation as hard-drinking maniacs, it may not be a good idea to let Ole Miss students in on some of the secrets P.T. Elliott reveals in her new book, "100 Proof: Tips and Tales for Spirited Drinkers Everywhere" from PLUME Books, 2000. Combine the letting of "100 Proof" loose on campus with the recent Princeton Review article that ranked Ole Miss as the No. 5 Party School and it's quite possible that come fall semester, no work will be done at the University of Mississippi whatsoever.

However, since we're going to be drinking anyway, we might as well do an informed job of it, right?

"100 Proof" has everything the amateur alcoholic could want in a book about the history and mystery behind alcohol. Though Elliott is not the most accomplished author technically, the sheer amount of research that went into this 200-page manual is admirable. The chapters are short and the information relevant, and the liberally dispersed pro-alcohol quotes from famous figures in history make this book a hilarious read.

Ever want to know all the different types of beer, including the different brewing processes that go into each? How about a complete guide to all the Blue Laws in the United States and a color-coded map that comes along with them? Ever wanted to know how to make you own bathtub gin? Or all about the highest blood alcohol levels of celebrities arrested for alcohol related legal infractions?

And, of course, one must not forget what will probably wind up being the most important tip for sorority members in this book: "The Complete Alcohol Calorie Counter and Nutrition Guide" for all those dieting readers out there.

Also, if you've always wanted to try being a wine connoisseur but were intimidated by all the terminology, types of wine and brands available, this book will clear up a good part of that mystique. The basic rules of wine selection, nomenclature and storage are all covered here in a way that makes all the information relatively applicable to the Oxford area.

Elliott's succinct prose covers all the bases, and her easy-read explanations make navigating your next trip to the liquor section a breeze. There is a catalogue of all the major beers and liquors consumed in the western world and "100 Proof" also explains how each alcoholic beverage is named and the types of brewing processes involved in creating each of them.

Thus armed, it is possible that Rebel fans will be wielding more different types of cocktails in The Grove for the 2000 football season than ever before.

There is also a commendable "Practical Drinking" section, which is apparently designed to give safety, fashion and health tips to drinkers desperately in need of some common sense. This section has 'no-brainer' advice like "Always have a designated driver," "Don't wear platform shoes while drinking," and "Don't drink on an empty stomach." It also has some cryptic advice to "always wear sunglasses" (because you never know how late you'll be out) and a guide to 'drunk-proofing' your home.

All in all, "100 Proof" is beneficial if only because it aims to make more informed drinkers of us all. Everybody loves a man who can name all the different sizes of champagne bottles, and who doesn't want to have someone with them who knows when the bar is overcharging? "100 Proof" will make safer, more knowledgeable drinkers of us all. Besides, who would really choose to drink Beast Ice if they knew any better?