Rejoice fans, football is here

LEO CARMODY
The Whiskey Chronicles

God bless college football. And God bless the Grove.

There is a home football game at the University of Mississippi this Saturday. After nine full months of waiting, we finally get to toast the first of this season's seven slices of heaven.

Hopes, dreams, expectations are all running high this fall at Ole Miss. True to form, the parties both on and off the field have been preparing with tremendous fervor. Two-a-days began weeks ago. For the players, both a morning and an evening practice. For the fans, happy hour and a late night. Reciprocated conviction is a wonderful thing.

Saturday's kick-off is slated for the unfortunately early hour of 11:30 a.m. But while the inevitable abundance of mimosas and sangria means I'll have to surrender my quest for first team all-bourbon and coke for another week, it is of little consequence. The accolade generating the most buzz is plastered on every automobile south of Memphis and west of Tupelo.

This season, visions of The Downtown Athletic Club and a New Year's Day Bowl run through the minds of Ole Miss fans, carried firmly by the legs of one Deuce McAllister. This man could kick start a 747, folks. But for Deuce to win the Heisman, he will need plenty of fan support. So if you will, repeat after me: "Deuce for Heisman!" It will probably be necessary to practice the slogan. Speech tends to be slurred inside the stadium. By halftime, the chant is likely to have degenerated into "Double Deuce for Heisman!", and later, "Double Down on Thiesmann!"

As great as the fanfare is inside Vaught-Hemingway, I must admit I'm more than a bit partial to the atmosphere found in the Grove. To me, the Grove on game day is a living, breathing testament to everything that I hold to be dear and true in this life. The food, the festivities, the fashion. People don't wear clothes in the Grove, they wear costumes. It is a garden party of unparalleled proportions.

Last year was my first Grove experience. I was amazed at how jovial, yet civilized, the people conducted themselves. In my home state of North Carolina, football tailgating fails to reach any "rite of passage" threshold, except for the few, the proud, the "whiskey tango." Not so in Mississippi. Everyone from politicians to potato farmers seemingly has a duty to press the flesh when the Rebels play in Oxford, and the citizenry is remarkably well-behaved.

Of course, when law enforcement is as subtle as a pack of howler monkeys, good behavior can be expected. However, I suspect the massive police presence is not even needed. Any action derelict of gentility is seen as a monumental breech of etiquette, sure to draw the disdain of the entire Grove populace. Even outlandish stadium antics meet with sudden and severe disapproval. Sure, a few stadium-goers have been known to partake of the proverbial "one for the road" while the game is still being played. For some, there is even a "one for the walk" as early as the second quarter. But thankfully, the subsequent "one for the ditch" is strictly a post-game happening.

Everyone at Ole Miss should make it a point to come to the Grove this Saturday. The simple lack of a ticket should impede no one from participating in the best spectator sport I have ever witnessed. While the scoreboard works to quantify the relative success and mood of the university, true prosperity lies in the aesthetic. And the best aesthetic is one populated with personalities. In the Grove, the question of whether life imitates art or art imitates life becomes insignificant. No answers are needed when the purity of spirit has been accomplished. Like Larry Wamble said, "We might not win every game, but we ain't never lost a party!"

Touche, Mr. Wamble. In the meantime, "Hotty Toddy!"