In This Issue:
Facebook 101
Body Image and Your Student

Whitman Smith, Director of Orientation Programs

Hi Moms, Dads and Caregivers and greetings from Boston, Mass! 

I have been attending the APPI Conference (Administrators Promoting Parent Involvement) for the past 3 days and have been sharing and brainstorming with colleagues from around the country about how we can better involve, promote to and learn from our parents, or as I am beginning to believe, our second most valuable resource (students of course being number one!). It has been invigorating and idea-generating and a lot of fun. I'm bringing back many ideas to the campus that we will be sharing with all of you in the future, and I cannot wait!

It is always nice to get away for a few days and work with those who do what you do, and believe me, though I have heard some great ideas,
I am surer than ever that we are on the right track at The University of Mississippi.

On that note, please remember that as a valuable resource, we need you and your ideas and input. One administrator said, "You have to be careful with parents on your advisory board and remind them that they are advisors and not policy makers." While that is true, and we do have people that make the policy, you and your students are critical in helping us decide what policy to consider and that might need attention. So, I fly home today and am looking forward to seeing my own two and a half year old and leaving the six degree weather!

So, as we approach Spring Break (and since I know you all have a cell
phone and so does your student) I remind you to remind them to keep safe, stay with friends, and have a designated driver if they are
drinking (like you would forget!)

Thanks to all of you who have provided feedback on our e-news, and
keep it coming!

We can still use more of your words of encouragement, advice on what worked and didn’t, how you dealt with the adjustment (or are dealing with it!), things you wished you’d paid more attention to at Orientation, and those things you do to help maintain contact and closeness with your student will all be appreciated and considered for the book.

For more information about the project, or to send us your advice before Tuesday, March 22nd, email us at stulife@olemiss.edu. So, as we say in the business when making a request from colleagues, “thank you in advance!” Enjoy reading; let us hear from you, and as always, thank you for trusting us with your most valuable asset.

Whitman

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Facebook 101

By Rebecca Bertrand
Graduate Assistant

Office of Orientation Programs

Created by three Harvard students in February 2004, www.facebook.com now lists itself as the seventh most popular Web site in the U.S. and reports having 7.5 million registered users. What started as an Ivy-League experiment has had a profound impact on how students communicate at The University of Mississippi, which students affectionately call: “The Harvard of the South.”

I created my Facebook profile after a friend introduced me to the site in fall 2005. Other Ole Miss students discovered Facebook in much the same way, through e-mails and word of mouth its popularity on campus spread like wildfire.

Students are the primary users of Facebook at The University of Mississippi, but faculty, staff, and alumni can join The University of Mississippi Facebook network too. The benefits of belonging to the school’s network include access to student groups, campus advertisements and events posted on the website.

Members become “Facebook friends” when one user sends a “friend request” to another. First-year students can now meet their residence hall neighbors before they ever set foot on campus. Many students use Facebook as a means of staying in touch while in Oxford, during break, or studying abroad. One of the most helpful features is daily birthday reminders for your friends.

Searching user profiles lets facebookers with the same political views, favorite movies, books, or music become friends. Many post photos of their families and friends or list their relationship status (single, in a relationship, it’s complicated, engaged, or married).

There have been incidents of online stalkers and even marketers obtaining information from Facebook. If your student is a member of Facebook or a similar service like Myspace.com, it’s important to talk with your student about their safety because each user determines how much information to provide in his or her profile and who can see it. Even with minimal access, it’s smart for users to keep phone numbers or addresses private.
Media reports have focused on the use of Facebook by prospective employers to assess job applicants or the police to investigate campus infractions. Students may not realize that questionable comments or embarrassing photos, even if posted in jest, may be seen by more than just a small circle of friends.

Have a conversation with your student about Facebook and they may let you view their profile. Here’s a list of questions using Facebook language to get your conversation started:

-Did you “tag” the photos from our family vacation?
Students upload photos into albums and then “tag” the names of people in the photos.

-What’s your relationship status?
Like many wore the class ring or the letter jacket, now you post your relationship status online to let everyone know.

-Has anyone sent you a Facebook gift?
This is one of the newest aspects of Facebook. It began around Valentine’s Day of 2007. For $1, you can post a virtual gift and a message to anyone. Virtual gifts range from a rose to a roll of toilet paper!

Online networks have had a significant impact on the way students communicate; fostering a sense of togetherness for Ole Miss students, both on-line and on-campus.    

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Body Image and Your Student: Some Information and Suggestion

By Tricia Barrios
Staff Counselor, University Counseling Center

Eating disorders, disordered eating, and distorted body image are all names for the same concern. Our culture of thinness and fat phobia combined with the pressures to fit in at college, and the complexity of life issues all work together to make eating disorders or “body battling” a serious concern for college students everywhere.

Experts estimate that between 5 and 10 percent of girls and women in the U.S. struggle with anorexia, bulimia or binge eating. As many as 1 million boys and men are also impacted.

Struggling with an eating disorder usually shows itself as fear and obsession with food and weight gain, though it is an underlying sense of being out of control and uncertainty of what to do with these feelings that is often at the root of the issue. Food is used in unhealthy ways in an effort to feel more in control. Often, this creates a great deal of shame and even deeper self-criticism, which can also deepen the dependence on the disorder in an effort to relieve those negative feelings.

These are very secretive conditions, and the student may go to great lengths to attempt to assure that even those closest to them don’t know what they are doing. Because of this, many cases go unreported and untreated.

How some students move from being a bit unhappy with their appearance to a full blown eating disorder isn’t always clear, but there are some common characteristics. For some people, food can provide comfort to strained emotions and those people turn to food as a way to deal with the difficulties of college life. Restricting food can also provide a distraction from unpleasant feelings or another focus that may appear more manageable than the issue at hand. This can be one thing to control when the rest of life appears out of control. Some students receive positive attention for weight loss and this can reinforce the notion that this is a good thing. If a little is good then a lot would be great.  

Even though they may be quite skilled at hiding a problem through high outward achievements, students who are perfectionistic and have rigid standards for themselves seem to be at greater risk as well. 

While there are many signs that could indicate an eating disorder, here are a few that parents might look for:

1. Preoccupation with weight, food, calories, and dieting, to the extent that it consistently intrudes on conversations and interferes with other activities.
2. Excessive, rigid exercise regimen – despite weather, fatigue, illness, or injury.
3. Withdrawal from, or avoidance of, numerous activities because of weight and shape concerns.
4. Expressions of anxiety about being fat which do not diminish with weight loss.
5. Evidence of self-induced (often secretive) vomiting, such as:
   
   • Bathroom smells or messes
   
   • Rushing to the bathroom immediately after a meal and returning with bloodshot eyes
   
   • Swelling of the glands around the jaw, resulting in a “chipmunk” look
   
6. Evidence (e.g., wrappers, advertisements, coupons) of use of laxatives, diuretics, purgatives, enemas, or emetics.
7. Evidence of binge-eating including hoarding and/or stealing food, or consumption of huge amounts of food inconsistent with the person’s weight.
8. Alternating periods of severely restrictive dieting and overeating; these phases may be accompanied by dramatic weight fluctuation of 10 pounds or more.
9. Inexplicable problems with menstruation and/or fertility.
10. Extreme concern about appearance as a defining feature of self-esteem, often accompanied by dichotomous, perfectionist thinking (e.g., either I am “thin and good” or “gross and bad”)
11. Paleness and complaints of lightheadedness, weakness, fatigue or disequilibrium not accounted for by other medical problems.

If you suspect your student might have an eating disorder here are some things you can keep in mind:

• Avoid focusing on food and weight, since those are not the real issues
• Present in a caring but straightforward way what you have observed and what your concerns are.
• Assure your student that they are not alone, that you love them and want to help in any way that you can.
• Encourage your student to verbalize their feelings. Listen to them and give them room to process.
• Encourage them to seek help and even be prepared to offer resources and ideas, but avoid trying to take on the role of therapist yourself. 
• Assure your student that you do not blame them and are not angry with them. 
• As best you can, try to stay on the same side of the fence with your student. You will have more success when you show your concern through support, encouragement, listening, accepting, trusting and respecting your student. Criticizing, blaming, complaining, nagging, threatening and attempting to control may backfire by giving more fuel to the student’s self-criticism.
• Be patient with the process. True recovery takes time.
• Consider seeking supportive services for yourself or other family members. Being your student’s ally in fighting an eating disorder is not an easy task, and you may find it helpful to talk about your own processes.

This is a serious issue and any parent would be frightened to believe their student was facing an eating disorder. The University knows you love your student more than anything in the world and would do whatever you can to help them. We are all allies in fighting eating disorders among college students.

Remember, you are not in this alone. If you have questions or concerns, please feel free to contact the University Counseling Center at 662 915-3784 or the Student Health Center at 662 915-7274.

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Expect your next issue of Slice of Life on Friday, March 30